I feel that I may have forgotten the meaning of friends. So I looked it up in and checked with google. There is the definition of people who has mutual affection. There is the funny one - list of contacts associated with social networking website. It all sounds superficial, sounds like the kind of friendship we have.
If let's say the definition can be knowing each other more than just skin deep, then maybe we are not really friends. How much do I know about you? I probably say a lot - your family members, their birthdays, your family problems, your daily issues - I know them. But do you know much about me? I highly doubt.
If let's say the definition is knowing each other despite the absence of words, then maybe we are not really friends. I remember that time I forgot something and shows neglect on my part for the household chore. I was not asked what happened to me and I was away for a week. But I got all the blame. Did you even bother to know that I was grieving a family loss? I remember not.
If let's say the definition can be understanding the changes the person has been going thru, then maybe we are not really friends. Would you happen to have known if ever I was sad or I was alone? I don't think so. I never felt that you knew or you understood. And all those times, I felt so alone, you were not there.
It is as if there was never the existence of friendship. I wonder now, how long have I been fooling myself to believe that we are friends?
Am I going to cut the friendship short? Maybe not since this is a seemingly funny situation, let's keep the contacts list open for friends in the social networking system that we live in.
footnote:
This post has been in my drafts for more than a year or 2. I can barely remember to whom I was writing this for. But somehow, I remember the feeling. And it was expressed so nicely that I remember all the feelings. Soooo, I am posting it just because I want to share the feeling. Weird.
footnote:
This post has been in my drafts for more than a year or 2. I can barely remember to whom I was writing this for. But somehow, I remember the feeling. And it was expressed so nicely that I remember all the feelings. Soooo, I am posting it just because I want to share the feeling. Weird.
