This is just a thought I was having while I was walking on the streets of Global City.
Why does life has to be so difficult with me? I feel like I am being locked into some place I always knew, some place that I am familiar with-- his side. I hate myself for always remembering how he looks, how he smiles, how he stares at me, and how he loves me. I want to escape from his trap. I walked because I wanted to see people, to think more of what is going on with my life right now, and to see what I am missing while I am under his spell.
I looked away from the sight of the real estate agents I am seeing. It reminds me of how he is doing at work right now. I begin to hate them. I begin to stare at them with hatred that I never saw in my life. I don't want to hate things but I don't want these things to make me realize that he is far too different from what I have seen for the past year.
I looked away from that thought that I was walking with him before and even from the memory of us having good conversations while having our coffee. I wanted to escape from the memories that are trapping me, keeping me jailed with my love for him. This is because I am blinded when I can really see what is behind those hideous beautiful lying eyes.
I want to forget but how? How am I supposed to teach myself to be back to what I am used to be? I cannot cope with what is real right now. I know that I am a walking living dead amongst the crowd of roaring emotions.
